Hugh Jackman Will Host the Oscars!

In a surprise bit of actual news, Hugh Jackman -- the only man equally beloved by comic book geeks and musical theater geeks -- has been tapped to host the 81st annual Academy Awards.

"We kept saying how we were looking for Cary Grant or Clark Gable," Oscar producer Lawrence Mark told Deadline Hollywood Daily, "and then we realized that Hugh Jackman had hosted the Tony's so successfully...He has style, elegance and a sense of occasion."

The bad news? Jackman apparently doesn't want to do an opening monologue. So...no jokes? Apparently not: according to "an insider," Jackman "didn't work the last 20 years to suddenly be a stand-up comedian."

Well, it's not like Jon Stewart was pulling them in anyway, considering last year's telecast was the lowest rated ever. I still say bring Chris Rock back, but I might be alone.

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